This month, by far, has been the most stressful one yet. We are low on money, patience, time, and energy. Everyone in the house has been ill at some point, and I’ve been having non-stop migraines. It just seems like I can’t catch a break. Between Noah’s behavior and trying to pay the rent, my own stress levels are extremely high. So what do I do?
I am no stranger to working hard or even being poor, but I’ve never had to endure either with a child. It’s hard to be happy all the time or productive for that matter. I consider quitting every other day. I consider throwing in the towel daily. I have never felt so stretched thin. There is never down time. I don’t even have time to take a minute to think. It’s just go, go, go.
So last weekend, I decided that Andre, my husband, and I would take Noah to the park. Yeah, it was 90 degrees and we were sweating by just standing outside, but you know, we needed a break. We needed a moment to enjoy our lives, enjoy each other, and marvel at the little bit of beauty left in the world. It wasn’t anything serious, but I enjoyed every moment! I enjoyed seeing Noah walking around unassisted. I enjoyed watching my husband watch us and smile. I enjoyed hearing the waves crash while we looked on. I enjoyed looking at the trees and smelling the scent of the flowers. I enjoyed the hot sun. I even enjoyed the sweat beads pouring from my body. Seriously. I REALLY enjoyed every moment.
Yet in my everyday life, every moment DOESN’T count. I don’t enjoy my environment the way I should. I don’t enjoy the moments that Noah is playing and having a good time. I don’t enjoy the times he’s cuddling with me. I don’t enjoy the tantrums. I don’t enjoy being a business owner. I find myself being obsessed with what could be better. I find myself feeling depressed about everything that is wrong! I even go to sleep and dream about what I have to do the next day, so I don’t even enjoy my dreams. Do you find yourself doing that? Am I the only one that worries too much?
Just like last Sunday, I have to choose to enjoy every moment of my existence–the good and the bad.
I must enjoy the loud screeching cries that Noah bellows out at the most inconvenient times. I must enjoy the cuddling that turns into hour long breastfeeding sessions. I must enjoy managing a business even though I never took a business class in my life.
Yeah, there are clearly things that could be better, but there is so much beauty around me–so many beautiful blessings.
I must learn to enjoy EVERY Moment, because in this uncertain life, every moment counts!